I was recently asked by a columnist for a Seattle newspaper “The Stranger” for my opinion on the HBO television program Hung. While I have to confess that my knowledge of the program itself is limited as I do not watch television, it’s an interesting subject to discuss. It remains to be seen if the show has any positive bearing on people’s attitudes towards male companions and their place in the service industry or if it simply becomes a cute, one joke, and one seasoned ‘hit’.
I would welcome comments from others about their thoughts also, not just of the program itself but the concept of a male provider.
Have you seen/heard about the TV show “Hung”? If so, what do you think of it?
I’m aware of it but I don’t watch much television so I’m not up with the latest HBO series that come out. It will be interesting to see how the general public will embrace it after 2-3 episodes. It has the potential to be cute but whether it becomes another Desperate Housewives/Sex in the City type show remains to be seen. I somehow doubt it.
Do you think the show is an indication that people’s attitudes about women hiring men as escorts have changed? Or do you think that the show will, in itself, help change people’s ideas about male escorts?
It’s difficult to comment without having seen more than a trailer clip but it’s an interesting enough topic for the powers that be in HBO to test it out. Male companionship has been around for decades but the only other media references I remember prior to this are Deuce Bigelow and Richard Gere in American Gigolo.
Depending on how the show addresses the companion side will determine the change in people’s attitudes. If it’s all about “penis for hire” then I think it will initially be cute, and then people will get bored and the stereotype of “buns for hire” will remain.
It has the ability to open up the idea to women who have never considered hiring men as an escort but again, if it concentrates on sex then it makes for a fun-for-the-moment television program and nothing will have been gained from it.
What do you think the biggest misconception is about male escorts?
That male companionship is all about sex. It’s more about fostering relationships with people who require them for a purpose, and in reality that is much more likely to be in the form of a romantic dinner partner, a travel companion for a cruise, or a theatre trip buddy than a wild tryst in the bedroom. People can get that through the personal ads or swingers clubs without cost. What I provide is purely companionship in its truest sense, on demand and without complications.
What’s the biggest real challenge?
Getting women to realize that a personal service such as companionship isn’t just for men anymore but is a viable option for females as well. Women don’t have to go to their high school reunion alone, or to that wedding sans date. They can take advantage of a service that is all about spoiling them. Women, as a rule, aren’t necessarily used to being spoiled.
While the Q and A was not used in the article here in the link to the column.
I was watching “Hung ” the HBO show when I became curious about male escorts. I am a mom who has not had sex in 8 years ( I believe that I now qualify to join a convent). After my marriage of 18 years I found it very different to date I tried dating on line and in person. I found it too overwhelming. So wanting to have sex again, and after watching Hung I goggled you. Maybe a bit of television would be amusing.
Hi there Ms. WMC.
How do you feel that Ray “measures” up as a Male Companion? I’m still waiting for the romantic and caring side to burst out but I have high hopes for our man! 🙂
Dating can be very overwhelming and daunting territory to be in and male companionship bridges that very well.
I once heard male companionship described as “Everything to do with convenience and zero ongoing baggage!”
Anyone who has not felt physical and emotional desire directed towards them for sometime get’s jaded and we all need that adrenaline shot occasionally to make us feel excited about ourselves.
Once we’re excited about ourselves again everything else seems so much more fun.
As I sat home on a cold and rainy day, attempting to google the release of the dvd show Hung, I came upon your post. I admit, even though your post was several months old, I wondered how a real-life male courtesan would view this HBO series. I’d love to hear if you’ve watched any more of the series and how you think the character has progressed through the season. With a new season coming out, what direction would you like to see his character go? Is there a situation you’d love to see Ray deal with?
When I first heard about this show, I was completely fascinated by the topic. I read your comment about the show Desperate Housewives and Sex in the City. Hmmm…I know these are huge television hits, but, personally……I could never identify with these women. I don’t think it’s an accurate portrayal of your average cross-section of the American woman. It has, and always will be in my opinion, pure fantasy. I guess it’s an enjoyable escape for many on a weekly basis.
You’d be hard-pressed to find me or any of my friends preening around the house in what had to be Gabrielle’s $500 sets of underwear…yes, please, let me go pull mine out of the dryer right now. When was the last time one of us walked around perfectly dressed and coiffed, in our perfectly clean house like the stepford wife, Bree. And how about the rattled, Ritalin-pumped Lynette? Should I talk about Sex and the City? 4 beautiful, insanely rich women, complaining every week about their “woe is me” love lives? Please….How many lovers do you really think they’d have to juggle with not-so-stellar looks, a not-so-glamorous job, a mortgage, car payment, maybe kids, and a stack of bills that still need to be paid?
As the season progressed, I excitedly talked about each Hung episode with my regular group of girlfriends, and while a handful of them would exclaim “It’s about time!” or “Yeah, I’d do it!”…alas, most of them were fairly closed minded and cloistered. Caught up in the trappings of what socially “respectable” women should or should not do. Even the few who were a bit more agreeable – the ones I challenged to take action, would disappointingly start back-tracking and saying “I’d be too nervous” or “(Gasp) I couldn’t REALLY do it ….and then you want me to PAY for it?!! “
Face it, I think I, and my girlfriends are stuck in that sub-urban mainstream mode of thinking. Maybe it’s the shows like Desperate Housewives and Sex in the City that are part to blame. After all, shouldn’t we all look so great? Don’t we all have to choose between handsome boyfriend # 1 and rich boyfriend #2 ? Oh, nobody to choose from? Well just squeeze into that size 2 pair of jeans, or tight little Marc Jacobs number and head on down to the local bar/night club/restaurant. Put on your Manolo Blahniks or Jimmy Choos, and you’ll really have those men lining up for you. Like I said…..pure fantasy.
Maybe that’s why I like this show “Hung” so much. Never mind that it revolves around a male companion (which is a great concept on it’s own). But it actually shows someone I consider a little more like everyone else. Down on his luck (almost laid off). Loves his job as a coach (yet makes no money). Divorced (unhappily). Kids (rebellious). Even a burnt down house with no insurance money to repair it. God, you have to love it. He sounds like everyone else in a depressed economy. He just ends up choosing a much less travelled upon road to lead him out of his dire situation.
Yes, he is handsome. And yes, like the title states, has the equipment that supposedly every woman screams for. For the first couple of shows – I’ll admit I was a little disappointed. What I thought would be a ground-breaking show, disappointingly seemed to focus on this handsome and hunky old high school jock. Unfortunately his thoughts, attitude, mannerisms, and heart were still stuck in his jock as well. Quite disappointing for a fully grown man, husband, and father. At some point you hope that there are at least a few good looking men that have a heart to match. (Sigh)…..
I had just about given up hope on this show. Ray had bedded Tanya Skagle (an old one-night stand and soon to be pimp). Apparently, Ray doesn’t really like her but sleeps with her anyway. Go figure. I sat at the tv and saw that look of desperation on Ray’s face. You just know he’s eagerly and desperately wanting to jump out of that bed and leave Tanya forever. Kind of like a trapped animal waiting for his chance to escape. My heart sinks. Do I really want to watch a show every week that shows a man behaving like this?
Hmmmm…..then that one episode came on. Tanya has booked Ray for an engagement with an older, motherly, somewhat rounder woman. Not your hot 20 something year old. Ray feigns illness and walks out of their appointment. Tanya sees right through his act and berates him for judging his client. Couldn’t he get turned on more for her brain or thoughts? (or something in that line). He hees and haws…but in the end something clicks. Suddenly his mind opens up a little, his heart shifts a beat, and you see something wonderful come through.
I was sold after that episode. I hope this is the road the writers take. Apparently they’ve hit on something. Hung is returning for a second season. They’ve been nominated for a few awards.
My 2 best friends (both men) ask me if I condone the topic of the show. Sure I do. It doesn’t mean I’d necessarily partake. But I’ve always believed that women (and men for that matter) should be able to choose what they want to do. Be with who they want. If that means a long intimate relationship with one person for the rest of their life, then absolutely, go for it. Good for them. I wish them all the luck in the world in finding that. Maybe they really just want a companion who is attentive. Maybe it’s just for dinner. Maybe it’s for that 2 week cruise. Maybe it’s just while they’re at cousin Mildred’s wedding. Maybe, just maybe, they want more. An occasional “pick me up”, so to speak. Given all these situations, if a person is so inclined and capable, I just don’t see anything wrong with paying to get what you want. It’s simple and uncomplicated. At least you can somewhat control the situation and not worry about much else. How much worst is it to pick up some strange person at a bar for a one-night stand? You know nothing about them or their past. Hell, you may never even know their name. I think, in some cases, this is a bit crazier and lot more dangerous than the alternative.
Of course, I say all this, with one big caveat. I don’t believe in hurting others. So for the attached ones who sneak out knowing their partners would be hurt – well, simply put – I believe it’s wrong. I’m sure someone has an argument for this, but personally, I don’t see it. Losing that trust and hurting someone else…..it’s just not worth it.
WOW…this ended up being an essay. But then again, I’ve always been called “wordy”….;)